Still awareness looks from these eyes, from this heart.
It includes everything,
It illuminates all it sees,
It is one with the entire universe.
The universe rests inside my heart.

A darker time..

Life is sufficient unto life.
Why does my mind fight? Why is there darkness?
I am a piece of flotsam in the river of life.
I am insignificant, I am powerless, I can control nothing.
Why is it so hard?
What is this?


Relationships can really be the place where ‘the rubber meets the road’ when it comes to spirituality. The depth in which we can delude ourselves is quite astonishing. Perhaps there are a few beliefs running, along the lines of: how spiritual you are, how advanced you are, how ‘already there’ you are, etc. Really though, it is through the relationships in your life that you can really see where you’re at.

How defensive are you really?

How open to the other are you really?

How easily are you triggered by ‘something they do/say/don’t say’?

If you are into truth, if you really want to wake up then you want to see all the parts of yourself that have not yet been brought to light. You want to see and undo the belief systems that keep you locked in separation. You want no defences and walls between you and life.

Relationships can show you all the parts of yourself that you can’t/don’t want to see. They make it extremely easy to see the belief systems which keep you feeling separated from all there is.

So how does one begin to take a look inside at the truth of what is going on and start to bring down those defences and painful beliefs? I, for one, began practicing ‘The Work’ by Byron Katie, here is a link to her website – I can’t recommend her method highly enough –

I moved back in with my son’s father about 6 months ago. He is a wonderful man, but boy have I had to do some work to find that open and still centre whilst being with him. Through questioning and seeing through every belief that ran through my mind about him and relationships I have found myself opening deeper and deeper to all of life and this eternal, shimmering moment. Through undoing the limiting beliefs I held about ‘how love should be’ I have opened the door to divine love, to love that depends on nothing but your openness to it. I have recognized the absolute beauty and perfection of him, he who is of course – not separate from me.  How amazing.



Break in me whatever needs to be broken.
Fix my hope of ever being fixed.
Use me. Draw every ounce of creativity out of me.
Help me live a radically unique life, forever forging a never-before-trodden path in the forest.
Show me how to love more deeply than I ever thought possible.
Whatever I am still turning away from, keep shoving in my face.
Whatever I am still at war with, help me soften towards, relax into, fully embrace.
Where my heart is still closed, show me a way to open it without violence.
Where I am still holding on, help me let go.
Give me challenges and struggles and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, if that will bring an even deeper humility and trust in the intelligence of life.
Help me laugh at my own seriousness.
Allow me to find the humour in the dark places.
Show me a profound sense of rest in the midst of the storm.
Don’t spare me from the truth. Ever.
Let gratitude be my guide.
Let forgiveness be my mantra.
Let this moment be a constant companion.
Let me see your face in every face.
Let me feel your warm presence in my own presence.
Hold me when I stumble.
Breathe me when I cannot breathe.
Let me die living, not live dying.


-Jeff Foster (


Hang from the cross and bleed for truth,
Be crucified by truth
And bleed willingly.

Have your heart torn open
So that the sacredness of life can know itself,
So that your own pure divinity may be revealed to your eyes.

You can come here only with nothing,
You must realise your bare empty hands
And sit in silence in the lap of God
So that the fullness of life may meet you.


Life is so juicy, endless juice!
It is soft and warm and loving,
It’s name is Embrace.
And it hurts, and it holds the hurt,
It is such beautiful devastation.
I weep for all those who are too closed to let life break them,
Whose walls keep out the pain and love and life.