In letting go of all control over someone you hold them more closely than you ever imagined possible.
In freeing them you find true intimacy with them.
In allowing them to be exactly as they are you align yourself with the heart of life.
All falls away and there is only love.
Relationships can really be the place where ‘the rubber meets the road’ when it comes to spirituality. The depth in which we can delude ourselves is quite astonishing. Perhaps there are a few beliefs running, along the lines of: how spiritual you are, how advanced you are, how ‘already there’ you are, etc. Really though, it is through the relationships in your life that you can really see where you’re at.
How defensive are you really?
How open to the other are you really?
How easily are you triggered by ‘something they do/say/don’t say’?
If you are into truth, if you really want to wake up then you want to see all the parts of yourself that have not yet been brought to light. You want to see and undo the belief systems that keep you locked in separation. You want no defences and walls between you and life.
Relationships can show you all the parts of yourself that you can’t/don’t want to see. They make it extremely easy to see the belief systems which keep you feeling separated from all there is.
So how does one begin to take a look inside at the truth of what is going on and start to bring down those defences and painful beliefs? I, for one, began practicing ‘The Work’ by Byron Katie, here is a link to her website – I can’t recommend her method highly enough – www.thework.com
I moved back in with my son’s father about 6 months ago. He is a wonderful man, but boy have I had to do some work to find that open and still centre whilst being with him. Through questioning and seeing through every belief that ran through my mind about him and relationships I have found myself opening deeper and deeper to all of life and this eternal, shimmering moment. Through undoing the limiting beliefs I held about ‘how love should be’ I have opened the door to divine love, to love that depends on nothing but your openness to it. I have recognized the absolute beauty and perfection of him, he who is of course – not separate from me. How amazing.